I'm not average

Pet peeve: when doctors (or their nurses) try to force you into the little box of what's 'average'. Hint - if I were average I wouldn't need a fertility specialist. I have to remind myself that I need these people and the temporary satisfaction I would have felt by putting that nurse in her place would have cost me more in the long run.

...But damn it would have felt good...

New RE, new plan

The RE we've been working with left the practice so we have a new doctor. We finally met with him and were comforted by his easy going demeanor and seemingly genuine desire to find a different, better plan for us. He had already reviewed our records and is suggesting we find a new donor but thinks that ultimately we will need ivf to get pregnant. He thinks I have an egg quality issue, he's also concerned about the low estrogen levels and wants to run some tests next cycle. So, our plan is to get the testing done and depending on what we find out we will either try iui with a different donor or figure out a way to make ivf happen. Making it happen will probably mean moving but neither one of us are tied to here. If one of us can find a good job in Illinois, we could be closer to my family and be in a state with infertility coverage legislation.
In the mean time I guess we just tread water.

Well that was liberating

For the record, I pretty much held it together while writing the last post... Until the end....admitting that this isn't and may never work to anyone, much less myself was extraordinarily painful, it brought on an ugly cry. But sooner or later you have to stop crying. Once you do, your heart heals over a little and protects you from the pain. One long talk with my husband later and we have a plan. Our plan is to meet with our doctor and talk about timing and estrogen levels and the benefit of back-to-back insems instead of the single insemination we've been doing. We need a different approach.
Ultimately we decided that we are going to find a way to make this happen, even if that means relocating to a state that has mandated fertility coverage, if that's what it takes, sign me up.
For those of you that reached out after last posts meltdown I appreciate it, your support, especially those of you who have some experience with has kept me sane (well, somewhat)