Phew

We went back to our RE's office to make sure our remaining blueberry was continuing to progress and the loss of their sibling wasn't affecting him or her and the scan went great.  Our little one is measuring exactly where they should be and has a great heartbeat.  I compared last weeks pictures to this week and she seems so much bigger now.  Last week there was just this little sliver of person next to the yolk sac, now there's a tiny human there.  It's really incredible to see the progress.
There's still a little bit of fluid in my uterus so I'm hoping they'll let me go back next week for another look to make sure that's resolved (plus I want to see him again!) but I don't know if that's going to happen or if I have to wait till 10 weeks (boo!), we'll see.  For now I'm trying to put the scariness of last week behind me and focus on this little life.  It kinda felt like I held my breath for a week and yesterday I finally go to exhale.
Next week we grow from blueberry to raspberry :-)

Scary 24 hours

Our New Years started apart from each other because hubby had to work (boo!) it also started by learning our cat doesn't like fireworks and gunfire and will respond to both by sitting on your head when you're sound asleep.  Believe it or not, January 1 started a lot better than it ended.  I sent the hubby out to watch some football yesterday so I could get some rest because I've been battling a cold and the pregnancy already has me super sleepy. I woke up around 6 not feeling well, went to the bathroom and found my worst nightmare, blood, a lot of it.  I freaked out and called hubby to come take me to the ER.  Because I was scared I asked him to take me to the closest hospital which was a mistake, it's the downtown hospital and more suited to drug overdoses and schizophrenia than pregnancy problems.  By the time I got there I was bleeding really badly and they couldn't understand why I didn't want to sit in the waiting room.  It took 3 sticks and two nurses to get blood (one of whom wanted to talk about how her preacher told her and her fiancé they can't have sex until the marriage but she really didnt think she was gonna be able to do that, really lady?) I went off to ultrasound and was scanned by a tech who wouldn't tell me anything but spent 20 minutes scanning me.  I got taken back down to the emergency room and they tried to start an iv.  Two sticks later they had an iv line they could give me fluids with but couldn't get blood out of.  Twenty minutes later they needed more blood so I got stuck again (5th time) for that one.  The doctor came in after an excruciating hour and told us what the ultrasound showed was two embryos but on,y one was developing appropriately and had a heartbeat, plus I have developed a fibroid.  They called my local RE's office and the doctor on called told me he suspected we lost the twin and that the one that still had a heartbeat was a good sign but I needed to come in today for another ultrasound to see if the one baby was holding on.  I didn't get much sleep last night and spent a lot of time crying.  We went in this morning and had one of our favorite techs do our scan.  The one baby is still holding on, looking fabulous with perfect measurements and heartbeat and they don't see the other embryo at all now.  So, as of right now we are still pregnant with one of the babies and I'm taking the rest of the week off to rest.  I go in a week from today for a follow up ultrasound.  Hopefully by then the bleeding will stop (it has slowed WAY down) and the baby will be fine.
What a scary way to start the year.

My Christmas Wish

My wish is that come August we have a healthy baby (or two).  I hope that baby knows how much we wanted him or her and feels comforted in that and it drowns out any potential negativity surrounding using a double donor embryo.  My wish is that he or she goes to a good school without fear of bullying or the terror that comes from a madman with a weapon.  My wish is that they will grow up happy and healthy, fall in love, be gracious, smart, giving honest individuals capable of hearing opinions different than their own with open minds.
Merry Christmas y'all, I hope all of our Christmas wishes come true.

Betas

Betas are in.  The first one was Monday which was 10dp5dt (15 dpo in a normal scenario) and it came back at 255.  My nurse called to tell me we're 'very pregnant' lol.  The second one was 12dp5dt and it was 646 so my doubling time is around 38 hours which is good.
Betas can indicate twins but they are not difinitive.  I looked ours up on betabase.info and we are almost the exact average for a twin pregnancy but I know someone who' first base was something like 35 and she had twins so until we get an ultrasound there's no way to know what's going on.  The clinic we used for the transfer sent an order to our local RE for an ultrasound at 7 weeks but since that's a Sunday they sent it for the Monday after.  I'm going to call my local RE and see if they'll see me the Thursday or Friday before.  I figure next week I'll be distracted with Christmas, then New Years the following week but I'll make myself crazy going thru another weekend to find out how many are in here.
Symptom wise I've been doing ok.  I've been really sleepy and my boobs are sore but I'm otherwise ok unless someone eats fish around me then I get nauseous.  I'm. It complaining, it could be much worse and it's so worth it!!!

We're pregnant!

Sorry for the suspense but its been a super busy week.  We found out we were pregnant and are over the moon excited!  Hubby still thinks both of them stuck, I don't have a feeling one way or the other, we won't know for sure until sometime in January.
I got in for my blood test Monday, then a repeat test Wednesday to make sure my hormones are going in the right direction.  Those levels can indicate if there is more than one in there but it's nothing difinitive so we are all gonna have to wait.
I've had a little spotting off and on, nothing major but it has me worried.  Hubby said its normal so I've just been spending as much time off my feet as possible and praying its just one or both of them snuggling in.
Once we get some beta numbers back I'll check in with a quick post.

This is so exciting!

Weekend whirlwind

The last three days were such a whirlwind I'm not even sure where to start.  We flew to San Francisco Thursday, got in around 3pm and did a little sight seeing.  Neither of us had ever been there so it was nice to see the pier and the crazy streets, Chinatown, and so much else.  We packed about 3 days of sightseeing into 5 hours then drove up to Sacramento.  The good thing about that is I was too exhausted to stay up all night worrying/excited about the next day.
Our transfer was Friday morning and it went beautifully.  We transferred two fresh 5day grade 2 expanding blast embryos.  They sent us home with a picture of each and one of both of them, the embryologist called it a family photo, lol.  They are pinned up on our fridge, hubby keeps calling it babies first photo shoot.
Our flight home was early Saturday morning so we drove back down to San Francisco and did a little more mellow sight seeing, we did a boat cruise and found a restaurant with a view of the sea lions on the pier and had an early dinner.  We were tucked into bed by 8pm.
So now we wait.  My goal is to make it to Thursday to test, that's 6 days past 5 day transfer.  If I can make it till Friday even better but I know me and I doubt I'll be able to do that.  My beta is scheduled for Monday the 17th which seems like soo far away!  They tell you not to test till the beta but seriously? That's too long to wait.
Hubby is super confident it worked, I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high but  the truth is I'm gonna be crushed if it didnt work.  Maybe I can sleep for 6 days so I don't have to deal with the wait... I'll be back when we test and post the results.

Here we go!

We've been (not so) patiently waiting to see how our egg donor progresses through this cycle and hoping we'd have a wonderful Christmas because we were finally pregnant.  Everything seemed like some far off goal and wasn't really real until the patient coordinator at our clinic called Friday to tell us we are transferring next Friday!  We've booked our plane tickets and rental car, made arrangements for a cat sitter and spent a lot of time with really goofy grins on our faces.
If all goes well we'll get a bfp sometime around the end of next week!